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12 Ways to Love Yourself

My beautiful friend Denise Birdsong of Modern Love Photography emailed me this the other day. And I can’t thank her enough. She is also the one that took this beautiful self portrait of me. There are things I can nitpick about this self portrait.  Things I wish were different but the entirety of this project is to look at all the things I love about myself and to build myself up instead of tear myself down. So let’s just focus on the hair. Damn I had a great hair day that day!!! Back to the email… these commandments are everything I have been teaching myself over the last 18 years since my horrible teenage breakup. It’s something I have often had to revisit time and time again in the last couple of years. And now I would like to share it with you. I hope this helps you in some way or another. Tell me something you love about yourself in the comment section below. It does NOT have to be a physical attribute. It can be anything. I would love to read what you have to say about yourself.

12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now by Louise Hay

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin. Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

1. Stop All Criticism. Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Forgive Yourself. Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

3. Don’t Scare Yourself. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

4. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

5. Be Kind to Your Mind. Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

6. Praise Yourself. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

7. Support Yourself. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

8. Be Loving to Your Negatives. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

9. Take Care of Your Body. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

10. Do Mirror Work. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too.

11. Love Yourself… Do It Now. Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

12. Have Fun. Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

Melissa GARCIA - I really need to do this. It will very hard to do.

Melissa GARCIA - Okay I like my Eyes.

Tanya - These are AWESOME! One thing I love about myself is after having something horrible happened to me 5 yrs ago, I let myself become a shell of a person but now, I’m taking my life back. I love that I have the strength do this.

Denise Nicole - Tanya, I would love to hear your story one day! Please let me know if you would like to be a part of my Self Love Project. I would love to be able to share it with others who might be struggling with the same things. Give them hope. Show them it will be ok. 🙂 xoxoxo

Denise Nicole - Your eyes are beautiful!!! It is the one thing I will remember about you always. You can tell so much about a person because of their eyes. See into their soul. Embrace that beautiful characteristic of you. I also love your laugh. I can still hear it after all these years. I miss you friend!

Denise Nicole - Missy. Please do!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!! You will not regret it!!!!

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Dance Like No One Is Watching

I love how she keeps me in check. “MOM it’s been FOREVER since you have done a photo shoot of me!!” (Even though it was just in May that we did one). I love watching her grow and I love seeing her personality shine through her images. I’ve got 4 years to enjoy her all to myself. Before she leaves to college to become a plastic surgeon. That’s her current dream. And I couldn’t be more proud or supportive. I soak it all up. Every last moment. And I will drop whatever it is that I am doing to just be with her. In the moment. Because I know it will all come too fast when she doesn’t want my attention any longer. It’s never a dull moment with her. She is silly crazy. She can’t be still. We try this every single time. Be serious. Look pensive. Like you are thinking about your future. I get maybe one snap before it’s a laughing fest and crazy poses. And I embrace all of those!!!!! We both laugh until we are weak. I love our relationship. She is my best friend. I know I shouldn’t be friends with my children. But she allows me in. And I just want to be here for her. However she wants me to be. I’m a strict mama but I allow her to be herself. We have honest talks. Deep talks sometimes that are very uncomfortable for the both of us. But we talk. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. She opens up to me in ways I was never able to open up to my mama (as wonderful as she is). We just have a different relationship than most mother/daughter relationships. I’m very lucky to share this life with her. This messy and beautiful life. And I want her to know it’s a beautiful thing to be both beautiful and silly. To embrace all of you. Just as you are. And to never ever be someone you are not. To love every ounce of your soul and never live with any regrets or what if’s. Dance like no one is watching baby girl. And don’t EVER lose that part of you.



















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Overcoming Fear

Do you know that I let fear stop me from doing amazing things with my business??? I fear it won’t work. I fear what others will say about it, I fear judgement, I fear my ideal client won’t find me or isn’t out there. I fear failure. I fear success. I fear opening myself up and being completely vulnerable. I fear I will not be enough. So I tuck my dreams inside and stare at them through the beautiful glass cage I have put them so delicately in, yearning to let them out! But I am no longer going to let fear stop me. I will journal my fears. I will talk about them out loud and by doing so I hope I will conquer each and every one of them. I will share my stories because I have been ashamed of them for far too long.  I allow that shame to hold me back.  I allow that shame to make me feel unworthy of myself and my abilities.  Oh my goodness how powerful the mind is to allow you to be prisoner of your own soul.  I’m so tired of it.  I have been talking about my self love project for a year now and the journey to self healing actually started over almost two years ago but I was brave enough to start talking about it a year ago.  And then I stopped once again.  Because it was too much to handle.  It became overwhelming.  And when I am overwhelmed I completely shut down.  I was vulnerable and I let you into my personal life.  Not just airplane conversation.  I. LET. YOU. INTO. MY. LIFE.  Those of you who follow my Facebook closely know what I am talking about. It was raw.  It was ugly.  And do you know what? You opened yourself up to me too!!! That was the beautiful part of it all.  But then I allowed fear to take over again because I thought to myself. What if I’m not enough for them?  What if I bore them? What if  I say something ridiculous and then they hate me for it?  What if, what if, what if.  I was thinking about myself instead of thinking about you.  You are who I want to help.  And in doing so, it will help me.  Because I want to help people overcome their insecurities. I want to help women all over the world find their self worth, and to me, that’s more important than letting some unrealistic, false accusations against myself let me stop myself from getting in the way of doing JUST that!!!  I will start that journey over again here on this little blog of mine.  Where it won’t get swallowed up in Facebook land.  Where you have a place to find it easily and re-read it if you need to do so. I know it helped so many of you come out of your shell. It allowed you to open up those doors you kept locked in your soul because you were afraid of the darkness. I too am afraid. But I know that with darkness comes light. So I hope you look fear in the face and do something today that YOU NEVER IMAGINED you would do.  Show yourself just how worthy you are of it. DO NOT ALLOW negative thoughts to get in your way.  Just think about how amazing it will feel to try something you were always afraid of doing. And ride on that feeling for awhile. I bet it will be remarkable.  Write it down and then act upon it. Tell me all about it in the comments below!! I would love to hear from you!!!!

Melissa Garcia - Thank you for all your blogs. I too have many fears, I afraid of being alone, of driving and the unknown. Also of being rejected. You have opened my eyes and mind to try the self love.

Denise Nicole - Rejection is the worst fear. It really holds us back from pursuing things we love. It’s been 7 years of me doing photography and I have been rejected more times than not. Let me tell you, its hard on the self esteem. But for every no, will get me closer to the perfect YES! You need to do this self love project of mine… daily!!! email me something you love about yourself. I will help you along the way girl. We are in this together!!!

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